My daughter’s favorite question is, “Why, Daddy?”

She is only 4-years-old, but she is wise beyond her years. A few days ago, she asked WHY and

I gave her the standard parental response my parents sometimes gave me: “Because I said so.” Her reply? “Daddy, when I ask you WHY, I want a real answer.” Touché my dear.

My question for you is this: How often do you stop to think about the WHY behind WHAT you say?

Try this: Tomorrow morning, count how many times people ask, “How’s it going?” More than likely, my guess is that your knee-jerk response is something like, “Fine” or “Good, you?” Each time this happens, I want you to stop and ask yourself, “When and where did I learn this response? And why does it pop out of my mouth like a broken record? Who programmed this into my brain?”

In today’s ultra-tech, everything-must-be-instantaneous society, it is likely that you sent and received your “Good mornings” via a social networking outlet, such as Facebook. If you have a few hundred friends, a couple of them probably chimed back. This is how communication, digital or otherwise, should be: like a two-way street. What about your business communications? Are they two-way, as well?

A recent article by my favorite PR/social media blogger Brian Solis exposed a critical communication flaw in many companies’ social media strategy. Solis conducted a brilliantly simple yet creative week-long experiment, making an agreement with himself to Like every brand that asked him to do so. In other words, the impetus behind the message, “Please like us on Facebook” was of no importance. If they asked, he clicked their Like button.

His findings were staggering. Out of 46 brands who asked him to Like their Facebook pages, ONLY 10 GAVE A REASON WHY.

What about you? Do you stop to think about the WHY behind the communication messages you sling this way and that way throughout your day?

Communication is the linchpin in every relationship. It affects your personal life. It affects your work life. It affects your business.

What if you couldn’t communicate? What would happen to your relationships? What if you suddenly lost the ability to walk the sidewalks of that two-way street with your kids, your spouse, or your clients?

This week, think about the WHY behind your words, because every word that exits your mouth holds real POWER, which should never be underestimated. I look forward to sharing more thoughts with you here on the Xtreme Results blog, as Melissa and I explore many ways to help you speak by design, not by default… to communicate with purpose, from the inside-out.

Oh, and by the way … Are you wondering WHY you should you Like our Xtreme Results page on Facebook? Easy! In the coming months, we will be adding special discounts on our coaching packages to our fans, not to mention the free instructional public speaking videos that you will not find anywhere else. So go ahead and Like us. You will be glad you did. And if there are specific features you would like to see on our page, be sure to let us know. After all, we are here to serve you!

Live the Dream My Friends!


5 commets “THE OUTSIDE: When I Ask WHY, Give Me A Real Answer!

  1. Brian - CCA (Edit)

    Thank YOU, Ronda! I would love to hear how it went for you this morning. Did you catch yourself defaulting to “canned” replies when people greeted you? Did you think of some creative responses instead? The really cool thing about becoming more aware, or conscious, of how you “show up” (a Melissa-ism that I love) and share yourself with the people who enter your space is that it doesn’t have to end with morning greetings. This is a practice you can literally extend into every conversation you have throughout the entire day! Cause an interruption in your thought patterns and think about the powerful words you send out today in-person, on the phone, and online. Then, let us know how this affects your experiences, if you don’t mind! I look forward to working with you and all of Melissa’s amazing friends and clients!!

    1. Melissa Malueg Author (Edit)

      Awareness is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?! It is the beginning to putting yourself in a position to make new choices. It’s the first step to transformation. Notice how the words you choose to share with others, like Brian said, whether in-person, on the phone, or online… or even just the written word, notice the potential impact it has on not only others, but YOU too! Please continue to share your thoughts and experiences with us. We want to hear how the power of communication is impacting your life… both good and bad.

  2. Linda Ryan (Edit)

    Great article Brian! My favorite part is your daughter’s brilliant statement:”When I ask a question, I want the real answer!” What a GENIUS!
    Embarrassed to say (and glad to know better now!) when I published my “like” page on FB I just said “please like my new page” duh! WHY???
    Great stuff! Thanks again 🙂

  3. BRIAN (Chief Communication Architect) (Edit)

    Thanks, Linda! My daughter definitely catches me off-guard with her “wisdom” at times. Don’t feel bad at all about simply asking people to “like” your company’s facebook page. As Solis’ study proved, that is what MOST businesses do. I’m excited about the opportunity to share MANY more communication tips like this on the Xtreme Results blog, to “complete the circle” of life coaching and speech coaching, as Melissa and I like to say. Stay tuned! 🙂

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